Grief affects us all. We have all been touched by loss. The fortunate are insulated from Death, sometimes for decades, but eventually we all have to make peace with Death. We all have to grieve the loss of loved ones, as well as face the awareness of our own mortality, our own impending death. We are the only mammals that live with a consciousness of our inevitable demise. This awareness is like an open application on our internal computer. It silently operates in the background of our lives, just below the surface of our skin. Each death, each loss activates our awareness. The older we get the more partings we endure.
After a serious diagnosis or a terrible tragedy, ours or a loved ones, we become acutely aware of Death. The question is how do we handle loss? How do we deal with personal sorrow and grief in a world that is anxious to go on with living? Unless we are personally confronted by Death, we pay little attention to it.
We read about Death in the newsfeed. We think: “What a shame.” Perhaps we pause and say a heartfelt prayer. Maybe we send a donation to a fund for the survivors of a tragedy. We hear of distant relatives or neighbors dying and we send flowers or a sympathy card. Then we go with our lives. We dismiss it as best we can until Death hovers over us or those we love.
When our loved ones die, they leave their earth life behind and begin a Sacred Journey. They go behind the veil, or as Native Americans say, behind the blanket, to walk their new path, through the Milky Way Galaxy, back to the Creator. When their silver cord is cut, their spiritual umbilical cord, the cord that tethers them to their physical body, light beings guide their souls to their new life. They have moved from the land of dense matter to the Spirit World.
After a loved one begins their transition to their new life, we may be aware of their lingering presence. Sometimes communication is strong soon after leaving the body. Our loved one may pause for a visitation in order to say goodbye to us. They may announce their departure in our dreams. They make wake us up from a sound sleep. We may see them at the foot of our bed. We may feel their presence, their essence pass through us. Such a fortunate blessing usually brings us peace.
We too begin a Sacred Journey when a loved one crosses over to the Spirit side of life. Sorrow and heartache push us to take a step back from our daily life. We retreat in order to get our bearings in this new world without our loved one. Death introduces us to the very private world of grief.
We long for our loved ones when they leave Mother Earth and us behind. Perhaps we ache for their touch, or to hear their laughter one more time. We may want to eat one of their home cooked meals, or see their beautiful, smiling face. Their love may have been the center of our lives for decades, or even an entire lifetime. We have to honor our wound, our loss.
The grief journey is a scared time out. It is a time to reflect and become whole again. Here we visit and revisit memories. Sometimes an inner dialogue begins. We rehash our loved one’s illness and their lives. We question our behavior and our decisions over and over again. We worry we didn’t tell them we loved them enough. We wish we had more time. We pray for forgiveness. We hope we made the right choices on their behalf. We wonder where they are and why they are no longer here by our side.
We may feel survivor’s guilt, and be angry at our loved one for leaving us at the same time. Sometimes we long to follow our loved one on their journey. We may think it is too overwhelming or too painful to stay here on Mother Earth without them. At some point we recognize that our pain is no longer about them, the departed. It is about us. It is about the hole Death created in the middle of our heart, in the center of our lives.
This is the time to rely on family and friends to help bring us back to life. Our shared humanity, our raw pain, connects us to each other. In spite of our urge to isolate, now is the time to let others do for us what we cannot do for ourselves. Our loved one will wait for us on the other side. They will wait patiently. One day they will greet us with open arms and assist us on our journey home. They will recognize our light and we will recognize theirs.
In the meantime we need to be kind to ourselves. In spite of our spiritual understanding of Death, regardless of knowledge and belief in continued life in the Spirit World, time stands still when we have suffered a loss. The greater the love, the deeper the wound. The deeper the wound, the kinder we need to be to ourselves. Our physical lives, our entire existence has been altered. We must go through the healing process step by step. We must allow our tears wash us clean and not fear the depth of our sorrow.
Knowing that our loved one lives on in another dimension of life does not stop our hearts from breaking, but it can bring us tremendous comfort. First-hand experience as a medium, or evidential communication from our loved one, gives us hope. It can bring us tremendous solace. We want to know where our loved one is and that they are alright. Perhaps they had a difficult crossing. We want to know that our love, our kindness and our prayers were felt by them. We want to know that we made a difference in their life. We need to know that they are no longer suffering. Once we know, through personal visits and heartfelt communication, that our loved one is healing, we too can begin our own healing.
The spirits love us very, very much. They hear our cries and are aware of our pain. While family and friends cook us meals and give us their shoulder to cry on, the spirits comfort us in our time of loss as well. While our loved one is healing on the other side of the veil, our guides and good spirits leave personal signs in places for us to discover. They send warm, gentle breezes to caress our frozen heart. They watch over us and protect us during our time of need. They bring us courage and faith when we feel as though we have lost everything.
No matter how adrift we feel in an ocean of grief, love forms a bridge back to shore, back to life. Our loved ones and helpers in the Spirit World find us regardless of how lost at sea we may feel. Invisible hands are always there to guide us back to safety. They help us to heal our broken heart and make us whole once again.